Some might say I’m a cold person, as I don’t really consider myself an affectionate or emotional person. However, that all goes out the window when it comes to children.

Just a few days ago, I saw a school bus on a four-lane highway and a small group of kindergarten-aged kids were getting off at a daycare as traffic in all lanes came to a halt. I couldn’t help but think that a lot of people were probably hoping they would hurry, but a smile came over my face as I watched them, thinking that there goes the future and how they have so many opportunities to change the world.

I recall when I first began working with children, before I had even begun considering education as a career. During my freshman year of college, I participated in a service-learning project which allowed me to tutor inner city youth after school. Those kids meant so much to me, and I looked forward to our time together. I did not, however, care much for the other adults who worked at the center. It was always as if they looked at me as being there not because I wanted to be, but because I wanted to feel good about myself and give something back. I suppose it would have made things much worse had they known it was a class requirement.

I let it get to me, too. All I could think about was how condescending it must have been that here I was coming from one of the best schools in the state to spend a couple of afternoons each week in an area of town that, during freshman orientation, we students (along with our parents) were advised to steer clear of as someone remarked, “Don’t turn right at the light.”

Part of the problem, if not all of it, lies in the fact that Birmingham-Southern College (BSC) was and is nothing more than a bubble. You’re not exposed to the realities of the world on the campus, and it’s as if everything is peachy keen and everyone drives around in $30,000+ automobiles. That’s not life and in my humble opinion, in a lot of ways, Birmingham-Southern perpetuates this ideal because we’re sealed off from the outside world.

Research during my first senior year (Ha!) found that the average income of individuals living in the surrounding community outside the gates of BSC, at that time, was $23,773. So, you have the majority of students driving automobiles that cost more than what some people are making in a year. In the microcosm of suburbia that is known as Birmingham-Southern, it’s easy to forget the troubles of the outside world. Turn right at the light, though, and you’ll get a good dose of reality…and I got one every chance I could.

I loved working with those kids, and they seemed to enjoy spending time with me. It still never occurred to me, though, that working with children was what I wanted to do. That is, until one course changed my life.

That course really ignited my passion for teaching, and it allowed me to gain experience as the head of a classroom. The course lasted only a couple of weeks, but it had such a profound impact on me that I volunteered at the school for over a year after I had completed the class.

I have so many fond memories…and some, that I would love to forget but I know I never will.

One day a child came by my mentor’s classroom while I was there and asked if she had $1.50 so he could eat lunch. She asked if his mother had given him money and he replied, “No.” She later informed me that this was, in fact, not the first time this had happened and that she had paid for his lunch on several occasions. She added that the first time it happened, the child cried and didn’t want her to give him the money because he knew his mother wouldn’t repay her. Sadly, she didn’t, but that’s beside the point. She didn’t even express gratitude when she found out that someone had done something she was supposed to have done. What kind of mother sends her child to school without food or money to get it?!

That got to me. I recall a time or two when my parents forgot to give me lunch money and later brought it to school so I would be able to eat. I could not imagine that they would have ever knowingly allowed me to go hungry. Neither would I with kids of my own…and my students became my children. I remember when one had forgotten their lunch money and couldn’t get in touch with either of their parents. It was on impulse that I immediately offered to pay for his lunch. Fortunately, I had cash on hand that day!

I have so many stories about my kids that I will always remember. One of my students and I were working on something and I asked him a question and I thought I heard him say, “I don’t know.” Later, another teacher nearby told me she thought she heard him say it, too, and informed me that he never talks as a result of an esophagus problem. Later that week, we were working with colors and I asked him what his favorite was and he pointed to blue. After we were done, he got my attention and pointed at me, and I knew he was asking me what was my favorite. I can’t describe how it felt for him to do that because it’s something that many of us would disregard, but that meant so much to me.

A lot of time passed before I decided to return to the classroom after the course ended, and it was obvious that I had been missed: the commotion that ensued when I entered the room and the hugs following class told me so. I used to joke that I was a sort of teacher without any sort of pay, but the experience of being in the classroom was payment and reward enough.

I feel like I’m rambling, but I have so much to say when I talk about kids. I love kids and I can’t wait until I have a few of my own. I already know the things I want them to know before they grow, after my friend, Nexy, tagged me with a thought-provoking meme, which asked, “What are five things I want my children to know?”

1. Keep God first.
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
- Proverbs 3:5-6

2. Question everything.
Knowledge is power and asking questions is how you figure things out.
“Question everything. Every stripe, every star, every word spoken. Everything.”
- Ernest Gaines

3. Live a life full of passion.
Find what it is that drives you, that you love and would not want to even imagine being without and do it to the very best of your ability.
“If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you.”
- Alan Armstrong

4. Be and think for yourself.
Stand for what you believe, never allow your principles to be comprised and don’t be afraid to take “the road not taken“.
“The opposite of courage is conformity.”
- Earl Nightingale
(I think #4 would really express my thoughts on this.)

5. Stay positive.
Life is an adventure and I promise you that it’s not always going to be easy, but I guarantee that you’ll be all right. Everything happens for a reason.
“I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.”
- 2 Timothy 4:7

Those are words of wisdom, though, that I’d share with any and everyone, not just my kids. I am now leaning away from teaching a little. In fact, I think I now have an answer for the school in N.C. where I was referred for a third grade teaching position. That doesn’t change anything, though. I will commit myself to working for kids and ensuring they receive a great education. I know I sound like a politician, but I don’t do what I do for acclaim or a false sense of self-worth. I do it because it feels good and it’s the right thing to do: helping others. I’ve begun to realize, though, that I have my limitations, and I wish, at times, there was more I could do.

I remember when I had planned to spend Interim in Tanzania working with people affected by HIV/AIDS. I had the most severe pancreatitis attack ever before I could begin the paperwork and was forced to medically withdraw from school.

I couldn’t help but think that there was something I was supposed to be doing that I wasn’t, and at that time, I considered (only briefly Mom and Dad) dropping out of school. It was as if college was holding me up from the things I wanted and needed to be doing, but I quickly realized that was not the best way to go about it, because as Jay-Z said, “I can’t help the poor if I’m one of them.”

So, I decided to return to school when I was able and in just a few days I’ll be graduating. I now realize that the time I spent in college has made me who I am and who I hope to become.

Now, I can work on changing the world. Now is the time to think of not only my future, but also of those kids in that picture, as well as others around the world. Now is the time that I set the gears in motion…

Related Entries:

1. Untitled
2. Special Lady
3. Lust for Life