Men and Boys
“Have you ever wondered why the level of violence is so high among black males? Or why so many black males are failing in school or dropping out altogether? Or why so many black males are incarcerated? It’s because adult black men have failed young black males.”
“We as black men have failed the young brothers in the streets, in the schools, and in the home. We have failed them as fathers, mentors, role models, educators, and community leaders. We have failed to show them what it means to be a man, and what it means to be a black man in America. We have failed to provide a counter balance to the negative influence of mass media stereotypes, the glamour of the gangsta rap videos, the lure of the drug ‘game’, and the allure of the so-called ‘thug life’.
How many black men actually have full-time careers educating, uplifting, and empowering black males? How many black men pursue careers in education, and then teach in inner-city schools? How many black men start fraternal organizations to fellowship with other black males of diverse socio-economic backgrounds? How many black men operate community service organizations to exclusively serve the needs of underserved black male youth and adults? Not many, and definitely not enough.
It’s common knowledge (or should be) that boys follow behind men, and do what they see men do. Therefore, when black men act like they care, young black males will act like they care. When black men start engaging young black males as fathers, mentors, role models, educators, and community leaders, then young black males will start engaging other black males in the same manner.
When black men step up to the plate and do what they are supposed to do, then young black males will naturally follow.”
- Mike Jones, Founder and Executive Director of Black Men Rising
( Props to Black Gives Back )
jose said:
You know, I’ve wondered the same things about how we as young men growing up and having the privileges we do can affect change in our communities, even if it’s just through becoming role models and educators. We’re fortunate in our position that it’s our job to be in front of kids 24/7. Of course, even if we had tons of positive role models in our communities, there’d be less coverage of them because the media would more readily focus on those who don’t necessarily promote a positive message. Thus, we not only need to focus on what happens within our community, but also how Blacks / Latinos / Asians et. al. are portrayed outside of our circles.
brran1 said:
It amazes me that dudes can just walk away from a person that they could mold into being the next big Civil Rights Activist or the Dr. that goes out and cures all the diseases of the world.
We (as black men) could impact the youth of the world and cancel out alot of this negative crap if more of us were there to raise/mentor/look after these young dudes out here. You gotta get em while their young.
Jose does make a valid point though. We could all go out and take a young dude under our wing, yet the media will still show footage of one idiot and his misdeeds and allow his image to be a standardized image for ALL Black Men.
Glenn said:
Excellent points. How do you out whisper a megaphone?? The music and the videos are an incredibly seductive distortion of reality.
STuffFlyPeopleLike said:
Where do I begin? Because I grew up without a father or a male figure in the home-I am not sure where my life would be if I had one. I am in several leadership positions where I mentor teen boys/young men and I can not explain the feeling I have when they complete something positive because of my influence. And it does not take much. It really doesn’t.
J, I am adding you to my Blogroll right now-this ish is great!
kaliente said:
I agree with everything that has been said! this is so true, I’m happy to see that there are black men out there that still care!
Nadia said:
I believe strong male role models are important but they don’t always have to come in the form of a father. Many young boys who do not know their father or grew up with a negative one in their life, we able to still be successful without him because another positive male role model stepped up to the plate
Onan said:
While we can bemoan the absence of organizational resources for our youth, the reality is that the transformation is only going to happen when we individually take ownership of the young men that are in our circle of influence. I don’t need an organization to spend time with my nephew or to be a mentor to a young man in my church.
Its easy to ask; “Where are the men?” The harder question to ask and answer is; “Where am I?”
J. Dakar said:
I know that feeling you’re talking about, man. It truly is indescribable, but it’s definitely a good one.
I appreciate the blogroll add, by the way.
J. Dakar said:
I feel you, Onan, and couldn’t agree more.
Tracey said:
Hi J. Dakar!
To Onan, you are so on point!!
Stuff FlyPeople Like said:
No Doubt- there are not enough realistic posts like that!- I just added you!
keep it up J!
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[...] Who Failed Who? Men & Boys [...]
LovinLife said:
Let’s not forget that all children need a positive, happy, fullfilled parent as well. I believe so many children..both boys and girls grow up with miserable parent/s, and because of this you have miserable children. I can’t stand to hear a woman always complaining about a man that’s not around. Get over it, and make yourself happy. My children are the product of a divorced family, and they are thriving, because they live with a very happy, and content mother. They have good contact with their dad, but I’m the primary caregiver, and they never missed a beat. Of course it was a transition, but ultimately, they fed off of me, and my emotions. More times than not, if the primary caregiver is happy, and sets up rules and structure, children will happily go along with the program that you’ve set up for them.
Bahama said:
WOW..this was great read. I only hope enough men take notice.
Tbeenitsinc87 said:
I 100% percent agree with everything that has been said. I feel like mentoring and reaching out would probably safe our community from going down the path that it has been for the last decade. It STILL takes a village.
Tbeenitsinc87 said:
You are absolutely right! But i think one main thing that kids miss when they come from messed up homes is that their parents are people with issues just like everybody else. It took me up until reaching adulthood to realize that, and i think it really changed my perspective. And with alot of these parents and kids, they come from generation of messed up families so they dont know any different and arent interested in learning.
LovinLife said:
The thing that makes me sad is that we are in such pain about the man not being around that we, as black women start identify soley with that pain, and forget that their are innocent children that need to be raised. Life is what it is, situations happen, relationships break down, people move on, but ultimatley we have to realize within every situation theirs the potential for growth, and go with it, so that our children’s spirts don’t get crushed everytime a situation comes up that they didn’t expect. Iono….just my opinion