…but they don’t respect ‘em.

This man speaks the truth!!1

There’s nothing I hate more than listening to an album and not liking a single song.

I do you artists the honor of listening to your work, something you’ve claimed to put your heart and soul into, and you, in turn, give me crap! Not cool, man…not cool at all.

It all started with Mariah. After her Emancipation, I expected nothing short of greatness. I couldn’t even get a gr. When my friends got a hold of the album, though, they all talked about how great it was. I thought either I needed to get my ears checked or I needed to get new friends. So far, I’ve done neither because another listen or two could possibly redeem Mrs. Carey-Cannon.

Such is not the case with the others.

Gavin DeGraw’s eponymous third album was next. Have you seen Tristan + Isolde? If you have, you heard “We Belong Together“, one of my favorite songs of 2005. If you haven’t, you should; it’s a good movie, but I digress. I’m mad it took Gavin five years to come up with this. If it takes anyone five years to release a new album, I expect a masterpiece, and that, this is not.

I like Scarlett Johannson. She’s a phenomenal actress, but a singer? Not so much. Well, I take that back because I couldn’t really tell, thanks to what was supposed to be background music. Was the intent to drown out  her voice? If so, mission accomplished. I can’t even entertain the thought of suffering through this one again.

I was visiting one of my long-time favorite blogs, Jesus Hearts Music, and saw pictures of Jesse McCartney out with one of those girls from Danity Kane. Like I mentioned there, they don’t even register to me, so whichever one she is doesn’t really matter. It reminded me that I hadn’t listened to his new album, but, when I did, I was instantly forced to think that Jesse should have been in the studio revamping this mess of an album that I spent my afternoon listening to when I could have been doing something much more productive. I expected more out of him because I really like the “She’s No You” remix, but not too much more, you know? But more, nonetheless. Less is what I got, unfortunately.

Last, but definitely not least, is Usher. I had been hearing leaked tracks for a while, but was hoping that he was saving his better material for the album. After listening to the album in its entirety, all hope is now lost. I’ve been a fan of yours since the beginning, so I know you can do better than this, man. Is it Tameka? Did she do this to you? I mean, every time we see pictures of you now, she’s not far behind. How about you head back to the studio, tell her to stay at home with Little U and you do what you usually do because I don’t know who this is, and frankly, I don’t want to know him. You can’t become Michael Jackson’s heir apparent releasing crap like this, especially when you have this little whipper-snapper yapping at your heels. Way back when, you asked us if we could get wit it. Now, I’m asking you.

“I had to question why this society continues to be so fixated on making black men the sexual “animals” of this culture. This society has always conceptualized black males in demeaning physical terms – the stud with unlimited sexual prowess, for example – and so much so that many of these young men seem to have internalized a warped sense of their own humanity.”

I read an interesting article this morning by Rhonda Sherrod, an assistant professor of psychology at Alabama A&M University. I was instantly reminded of Hung: A Meditation on the Measure of Black Men in America, a book I’d read a couple of years ago.

It’s a thought-provoking piece in which the author, Scott Poulson-Bryant, talks honestly and tells secrets about the black phallus and its massive impact on America. The title alone is brilliant: ‘hung’ is a double entendre, referring not only to the black man’s penis, but also the fact that, as Poulson-Bryant put it, “once upon a time we were hung from trees for being well hung.”

After reading Hung, I picked up on not-so-subtle attempts to describe black people as nothing more than sex objects. My mom told me about a former female coworker of hers (who happens to be white) and her boyfriend (also white) who told her that the black waitress at a restaurant they were dining in was “beautiful” and then added that “black women were made for sex”. Not only is that disrespectful to an entire race of women, but to mention it in the presence of his girlfriend is even more so.

I’m also reminded of a Rolling Stones song by the name of “Some Girls” that reports “black girls just wanna get fucked all night, I just don’t have that much jam.”

Is this really what the world thinks of black females?

We can’t forget black males.

The Mandingo image being perpetuated in pop culture certainly doesn’t help. Ever been to a Mandingo party?

Back in the day, there was a site, halfhonk.com and I’m not sure if the owner came up with this or not, but I remember it being mentioned that “it’s a one of a kind thing, it’s a halfhonk…and remember girls, he’s black where it counts.”

I refuse to believe that that is all it means to be a black man — having a big, black penis.

I, myself, am a young, virile, black male, but I am not a walking phallic symbol whose only thoughts resonate sexual urges and tendencies and I refuse to be reduced to being a black man solely because of what hangs between my legs.

“I guess when it comes down to it
Being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up
These are the best days of our lives
The only thing that matters is just following your heart
And eventually you’ll finally get it right”
- The Ataris, “In This Diary”

I’ve been waiting on this day for a long time. No, really, a LONG time. Now that it’s finally here, though, I’m having a hard time putting how I feel into words.

For that reason, this seems like the perfect opportunity to introduce you to my Sunday Share posts.

I’ve done this on nearly all of my websites, and I “borrowed” the idea from my good friend C. Each week, I’ll post a few songs which comprise a small playlist of songs I want you to hear. This week’s selections mark the momentous occasion that is my graduation. The files are hosted via zSHARE because I don’t want you sucking up my bandwidth. This also provides an advantage for you as you can preview the track before actually downloading. See, it’s not all about me. Enjoy!

Smashing Pumpkins – “Today”
Despite being a song about depression and desperation, “Today” truly is the greatest day I’ve ever known. This song introduced me to the Smashing Pumpkins and made me the huge fan of their music that I am today.

Jason Mraz – “Details in the Fabric” (ft. James Morrison)
It didn’t really hit me that it was all over until I heard the chorus on my way from taking my final exam last week: “Hold your own, know your name and go your own way and everything will be fine.”

Nina Simone – “Feeling Good [Joe Clausell Remix]“
So many people have covered this song, but nothing and no one compares to Nina Simone. This remix is from Verve Remixed, an album centered on classic Verve tracks, remixed by contemporary electronic producers and DJs.

Kanye West – “Can’t Tell Me Nothing”
This is one of my faves from Graduation: “Old folks talking bout back in my day, but homey this is my day. Class started 2 hours ago, oh am I late? You know I already graduated, and you can live through anything if Magic made it.”

Whitesnake – “Here I Go Again” (M4A)
This was my senior class song in high school, so it’s only fitting that I include it in my college graduation playlist: “And I’ve made up my mind, I ain’t wasting no more time. But, here I go again.”

Some might say I’m a cold person, as I don’t really consider myself an affectionate or emotional person. However, that all goes out the window when it comes to children.

Just a few days ago, I saw a school bus on a four-lane highway and a small group of kindergarten-aged kids were getting off at a daycare as traffic in all lanes came to a halt. I couldn’t help but think that a lot of people were probably hoping they would hurry, but a smile came over my face as I watched them, thinking that there goes the future and how they have so many opportunities to change the world.

I recall when I first began working with children, before I had even begun considering education as a career. During my freshman year of college, I participated in a service-learning project which allowed me to tutor inner city youth after school. Those kids meant so much to me, and I looked forward to our time together. I did not, however, care much for the other adults who worked at the center. It was always as if they looked at me as being there not because I wanted to be, but because I wanted to feel good about myself and give something back. I suppose it would have made things much worse had they known it was a class requirement.

I let it get to me, too. All I could think about was how condescending it must have been that here I was coming from one of the best schools in the state to spend a couple of afternoons each week in an area of town that, during freshman orientation, we students (along with our parents) were advised to steer clear of as someone remarked, “Don’t turn right at the light.”

Part of the problem, if not all of it, lies in the fact that Birmingham-Southern College (BSC) was and is nothing more than a bubble. You’re not exposed to the realities of the world on the campus, and it’s as if everything is peachy keen and everyone drives around in $30,000+ automobiles. That’s not life and in my humble opinion, in a lot of ways, Birmingham-Southern perpetuates this ideal because we’re sealed off from the outside world.

Research during my first senior year (Ha!) found that the average income of individuals living in the surrounding community outside the gates of BSC, at that time, was $23,773. So, you have the majority of students driving automobiles that cost more than what some people are making in a year. In the microcosm of suburbia that is known as Birmingham-Southern, it’s easy to forget the troubles of the outside world. Turn right at the light, though, and you’ll get a good dose of reality…and I got one every chance I could.

I loved working with those kids, and they seemed to enjoy spending time with me. It still never occurred to me, though, that working with children was what I wanted to do. That is, until one course changed my life.

That course really ignited my passion for teaching, and it allowed me to gain experience as the head of a classroom. The course lasted only a couple of weeks, but it had such a profound impact on me that I volunteered at the school for over a year after I had completed the class.

I have so many fond memories…and some, that I would love to forget but I know I never will.

One day a child came by my mentor’s classroom while I was there and asked if she had $1.50 so he could eat lunch. She asked if his mother had given him money and he replied, “No.” She later informed me that this was, in fact, not the first time this had happened and that she had paid for his lunch on several occasions. She added that the first time it happened, the child cried and didn’t want her to give him the money because he knew his mother wouldn’t repay her. Sadly, she didn’t, but that’s beside the point. She didn’t even express gratitude when she found out that someone had done something she was supposed to have done. What kind of mother sends her child to school without food or money to get it?!

That got to me. I recall a time or two when my parents forgot to give me lunch money and later brought it to school so I would be able to eat. I could not imagine that they would have ever knowingly allowed me to go hungry. Neither would I with kids of my own…and my students became my children. I remember when one had forgotten their lunch money and couldn’t get in touch with either of their parents. It was on impulse that I immediately offered to pay for his lunch. Fortunately, I had cash on hand that day!

I have so many stories about my kids that I will always remember. One of my students and I were working on something and I asked him a question and I thought I heard him say, “I don’t know.” Later, another teacher nearby told me she thought she heard him say it, too, and informed me that he never talks as a result of an esophagus problem. Later that week, we were working with colors and I asked him what his favorite was and he pointed to blue. After we were done, he got my attention and pointed at me, and I knew he was asking me what was my favorite. I can’t describe how it felt for him to do that because it’s something that many of us would disregard, but that meant so much to me.

A lot of time passed before I decided to return to the classroom after the course ended, and it was obvious that I had been missed: the commotion that ensued when I entered the room and the hugs following class told me so. I used to joke that I was a sort of teacher without any sort of pay, but the experience of being in the classroom was payment and reward enough.

I feel like I’m rambling, but I have so much to say when I talk about kids. I love kids and I can’t wait until I have a few of my own. I already know the things I want them to know before they grow, after my friend, Nexy, tagged me with a thought-provoking meme, which asked, “What are five things I want my children to know?”

1. Keep God first.
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
- Proverbs 3:5-6

2. Question everything.
Knowledge is power and asking questions is how you figure things out.
“Question everything. Every stripe, every star, every word spoken. Everything.”
- Ernest Gaines

3. Live a life full of passion.
Find what it is that drives you, that you love and would not want to even imagine being without and do it to the very best of your ability.
“If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you.”
- Alan Armstrong

4. Be and think for yourself.
Stand for what you believe, never allow your principles to be comprised and don’t be afraid to take “the road not taken“.
“The opposite of courage is conformity.”
- Earl Nightingale
(I think #4 would really express my thoughts on this.)

5. Stay positive.
Life is an adventure and I promise you that it’s not always going to be easy, but I guarantee that you’ll be all right. Everything happens for a reason.
“I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.”
- 2 Timothy 4:7

Those are words of wisdom, though, that I’d share with any and everyone, not just my kids. I am now leaning away from teaching a little. In fact, I think I now have an answer for the school in N.C. where I was referred for a third grade teaching position. That doesn’t change anything, though. I will commit myself to working for kids and ensuring they receive a great education. I know I sound like a politician, but I don’t do what I do for acclaim or a false sense of self-worth. I do it because it feels good and it’s the right thing to do: helping others. I’ve begun to realize, though, that I have my limitations, and I wish, at times, there was more I could do.

I remember when I had planned to spend Interim in Tanzania working with people affected by HIV/AIDS. I had the most severe pancreatitis attack ever before I could begin the paperwork and was forced to medically withdraw from school.

I couldn’t help but think that there was something I was supposed to be doing that I wasn’t, and at that time, I considered (only briefly Mom and Dad) dropping out of school. It was as if college was holding me up from the things I wanted and needed to be doing, but I quickly realized that was not the best way to go about it, because as Jay-Z said, “I can’t help the poor if I’m one of them.”

So, I decided to return to school when I was able and in just a few days I’ll be graduating. I now realize that the time I spent in college has made me who I am and who I hope to become.

Now, I can work on changing the world. Now is the time to think of not only my future, but also of those kids in that picture, as well as others around the world. Now is the time that I set the gears in motion…