The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.
- John Walter Wayland

Some are born gentlemen, but some have to learn how to become one.

If you or someone you know is of the latter, please get a copy of Bereolaesque: The Gentleman & Etiquette Book for the Urban Sophisticate. I read the rough draft some time ago, and it’s exactly what I recommend for those who want and want to learn etiquette and style.

Penned by JDakar.com friend and contributor, Enitan O. Bereola II, the book is for every male and every female who believes that chivalry is NOT dead, individuals that understand how the world works and are willing to learn exactly how far something as simple as being a gentleman and proper etiquette can get you in life.

Post Title Download: Avant – “Perfect Gentleman” from Avant

Portfolio is closing.

The monthly business magazine published by publishing giant Condé Nast centered on business coverage but also featured fashion and lifestyle content. I remember reading the premier issue back in 2007 thinking, “This is perfect!”

Forward to 2009, and the magazine is the latest in a line of my favorites (Blender, Best Life, Domino, Plenty and Men’s Vogue) that have closed their doors.

I can’t help but feel partly responsible.

I can’t remember the last time I purchased a magazine, and my paid subscriptions have long expired. I’d much rather read the articles online, for convenience and cost reasons.

According to Adweek, “Magazines have watched consumers and ad dollars migrate online at the expense of print and other forms of traditional media.”

Online media dominates, and it’s for that reason that traditional forms must either suffer or learn how to endure.

Post Title Download: Queen – “Another One Bites the Dust” from The Game

Words can have an enormous impact.

I’ve just published a post for Concrete Loop regarding young, black males and suicide, including the recent deaths of two 11-year-olds who committed suicide because they were called gay and taunted at school daily.

Words can hurt or heal, encourage or discourage.

I’m all about positivity, so here are my words to live by. What are yours?

“One writes out of one thing only—one’s own experience. Everything depends on how relentlessly one forces from the experience the last drop, sweet or bitter, it can possibly give.”
- James Baldwin

I’ve mentioned it many times, but writing has always been a cathartic and expressive experience for me. I hate I haven’t written more lately.

“In the world and at home, you have the opportunity and the responsibility to help make the choices which will determine the greatness of this nation…You live in the most privileged nation on earth. You are the most privileged citizen of that privileged nation; for you have been given the opportunity to study and learn…You can use your enormous privilege and opportunity to seek purely private pleasure and gain. But history will judge you, and as the years pass, you will ultimately judge yourself, on the extent to which you have used your gifts to lighten and enrich the lives of your fellow man. In your hands, not with presidents or leaders, is the future of your world and the fulfillment of the best qualities of your own…”
- Speech to the University of California, Oct. 23, 1966, Robert F. Kennedy

I discovered this shortly before graduating last year. It immediately caught my attention, as I was still deciding what I wanted to do with my life, although I knew I wanted to do good and do well.

“The status of a person is not how much money they have or what they do for a living — the real importance of a person is how they treat everybody, particularly the people who are deemed lower than them in society.”
- J. Dakar

This is from a J. Dakar On commentary piece, which is actually comprised of something I wrote years ago titled “The Mandate”. The words are timeless, though, and state my thoughts on elitism and such.

“The measure of a man, sir, is not in money, position, station or possessions. These things mean nothing. The measure of a man is in his character, wisdom, ability, aliveness, intimacy, creativity, courage, fearlessness, perspective, independence and maturity…”
- Mark W. B. Brinton

Although I don’t remember how I came across this one, it describes who I aspire to be.

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
- Romans 12:2

No explanation really needed for that one, is there?

Post Title Download: Anthony David – “More Than Words” (ft. India.Arie) from Acey Deucy