In honor of upcoming graduations around the nation, I’ve outlined the proper way to say thanks for those gifts you’ll soon be receiving.

Not to go all Emily Post on you, but whenever you receive a gift, you should say thanks with a thank you note. The only exception I make for this is if I open the gift in the gift-giver’s presence. Otherwise, I pull out my pen and pad and have at it because a thank you note should always be written in your handwriting.

Pull out your pen and pad; I’m about to teach you how to write a thank you note.

A thank you note consists of 6 key elements:

1. Greeting

Dear Uncle James,

Greet the gift-giver with the name you call them. Easy, right?

2. Purpose

Thank you for the fountain pen.

State your reason for writing. Do not say, “I’m just writing to say thank you for…” because you aren’t just writing to say anything. By the time the gift-giver reads your note, it will already have been written so use the present-perfect tense, which means write as if what you’re writing is actually happening at the moment in which the gift-giver is reading. You want to be as succinct as possible, unlike that last sentence of mine.

If the gift is money, do not mention it. Instead, say “Thank you for your generosity,” or “Your kindness is appreciated,” regardless of the amount.

3. Use

I write a lot of notes, so it comes in handy quite often. I’m using it right now!

Mention something nice about the gift and how you’ll use it. You might say, “What if it’s not nice, J., and I will never use it?” I don’t advise you lie, but there has to be something positive you can say about it. For example, Grandma Rose sent you a sweater she knitted herself. You hate it, but you could easily mention how the color is one of your favorites or how soft it is.

Most of my graduation gifts were money, so I said, “Your gift will be a great help as I embark upon this next chapter of my life.” You may want to mention what you’ll use it for if you have a specific purpose in mind: a down payment on a house, a new video game you’ve wanted for a while, whatever.

4. Personal touch

I hope you’ll be joining us at the family reunion next month.

Don’t just make them think you’re writing only because of the gift (although, let’s be honest, it probably is). Add something personal so they know you’re thinking of them. Maybe you’re not. You can still say, “I hope all is well.” It’s a nice gesture and lessens the chances they’ll think you’re nothing more than a selfish jerk.

5. Thanks

Thanks again for your gift.

You’ve already said thank you, but it doesn’t hurt to say it again. Don’t question it; just do it.

6. Closing

Peace and blessings,
J.

Use what works for you. Sign your name and you’re done.

That wasn’t so bad, was it? Writing a thank you note is a chore only if you make it.

You’re welcome.

Post Title Download: Lizz Wright – “Thank You” from The Orchard

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